How often do we sit ourselves and look into the mirror and
ask ourselves “ I mean REALLY?”
It amazes me to sit and watch life happening to me in
reality..n I m smitten by it..completely and yet I want to say its glory is
unparalleled.
So far in life I always believed that life is what we make
of it and that if we truly desire something and work hard for it, it becomes
ours…No goal is ever unachievable. It has been this thought that has been
guiding me to be ever enthusiastic, ever positive..only to realize once again
that perhaps my learning had been incomplete all along and that if you have to
clear off sand from a glass of water there aint any way but to leave it for
sometime and allow it to settle it on its own. I believed ‘life is like a cup
of tea which needs to be stirred for the sugar to blend in” only to realize
that I have been stirring it for far too long and now rather than blending the
sugar, I have separated the cream/froth out of the tea and it has become
cold..TASTELESS.
This journey of limited knowledge (of Over Positivity)
started right from kindergarten wherein I was taught to put in hard work..to
always go an extra mile to create a difference only to realize that even if I
hadn’t move, earth would have taken a course and I would have moved relatively.
Life is a journey for unlearning the fears that we have
learned along the course of growing up. It is ok to be slow and ok not to come
first and still ok not to get all that you want and that no matter how much u
rub sand it wont ever give fire.
I have often been asked by people to exchange my life with
them for a day for they too wana know how it is to love my life..to live the so
called success and fulfillment of “ being me”. I don’t correct them anymore coz
I know how it feels when u move from a fallacy to reality. I answer with a
smile and no words..only to let them decide what it means.
LOVE..now that is an overrated concept. How strange it is
that throughout our life we are taught to e madly, selflessly in love. They say
you give your complete self to the person you love. They also say that in love there aint any you or I. I
somehow did not earlier understood how could you love someone so much that I
comes later than u and that you lose yourself in him/her. How can someone love
me if I do not exist? There has to be a ‘me’ for him to love? How can there be
someone who can love anyone who doesn’t even exists? And strangely now I
know..yes I have that answer..only to learn that you need to be 2 people to be
in love..2 people who reciprocate love for each other and more than
anything..have immense respect for each other… I have learnt this pretty late.
But I have realized my potential to love and moreso my potential to lose myself
only if I now learn to gain myself back again.
I miss myself and being me all the time. I want to be able
to laugh on my own, travel or even sit and enjoy a meal on my own. Perhaps I will have to learn the trick of
being fearless and stop afraid of losing him. For I have read these wise words
“ no one can lose anyone coz no one owns anyone. It is the beauty of liberation
that lies the true meaning of love”
I wish pray and hope that one fine day..on a beautiful sunny
morning..at a wonderful turn I meet myself again. I would ana smile at me and
say “ love yourself, your soul is a gift from God to your body. Cherish every
moment that you live Nazia and do not wait for life to happen to you..do not
wait for anyone to tell you how beautiful you look an a beautiful morning like
today and that you are all you need to be happy each day. Love yourself and
cherish every bereathe”
